Time Marches On!

Today (Sunday, Oct 30 - in case I don't get this posted today) was the Halloween parade....Jordan marched with the 7th grade band.  The 8th graders marched for the Homecoming Parade but Jordan chose to ride on the JFL float....with the promise of marching in the next one.  So, here we are!  Even though I said I wouldn't get a picture of him, I was GOING to anyway.  Sadly, he came by and I was looking at the clarinets even though I KNEW he was the bass drum and therefore MISSED the pic opportunity.  Silly mom that I am!  My kids had a great time.  And Scott dressed up.

The true affect of his costume!

Great Costume...but any costume that takes two to put on????

 

The kids at the annual Halloween Parade

 

Amazing how fast time goes by.  At the end of the parade Jordan's 1st grade teacher came by.  Wow....it seems like just yesterday he was in first grade.

As time marches on in my life I tend to reflect more and more on the past, on the experiences that have led me to today and where I am in my life.  I think of them as defining moments.....the experiences that have made me who and what I am today.

I think of the time my dad told us we were going to Marriot's Great America.  Watching the news the night before showed rain in the forecast.  "What will we do if it rains?" I asked my dad.  His response, "Go another day!"  I didn't want to wait, so my little legs ran upstairs with a heart FULL of faith.  I knelt by my bed and prayed that it wouldn't rain.  It didn't.  As adults we tend to discount that simple childlike faith - for me it was a defining moment of faith in my life.  Just today I read an old email from a friend where that same faith shone through in an experience I had with her and finding her lost wedding ring at Girls Camp.  I have no idea if the prayer for no rain was the FIRST time I prayed, or even exhibited faith, but it is the one that stands out, that seems to define me.

I remember sitting in a room on my mission at the MTC where the teacher challenged us to pray and ask if Joseph Smith was a prophet.  "I already know this," I thought.  But I am compliant, so I prayed.  I had the most incredible experience....feeling.  It permeated every part of me and each time I testify or even speak of Joseph Smith I feel the same way all over again.  I'm glad that moment defined part of who I am today.

My seminary teacher in 9th grade, my neighbor, Brother Hixson, gave a similar challenge - pray and find out the Book of Mormon is true.  I remember doing just that.  Just about every detail is still etched deep into my heart.  I had a basement bedroom.  My dad hadn't finished our basement so I had that 70's orange, reddish rust color carpet - from my mom's best friend's house.  I also remember the black tarp for a door.  Funny that I remember so many details, but it seriously defined me.  I knelt on that carpet near my bed and prayed.  Nothing!  I couldn't believe it!  Brother Hixson had promised.  I stayed on my knees for a little longer and all I could feel was "You already know it is true!"  And I did know....I did!  And still I know.  Still I feel it and love it.  However, as time went on I began to read as if I were watching the events of the Book of Mormon play on in front of me (as if I were behind a bush or something).  I was intrigued beyond belief.  I began to pray to know if Nephi was real....or was he just a character in the play I had been viewing?  When I came to know HE was a real person the Book of Mormon was MORE than just true.....to my young mind it was REAL, real words and experiences about real people.  I have loved it ever since - maybe I loved it before, but this experience is the defining moment.

I remember softball in college.  I specifically remember making a scrapbook page where I found a quote in a magazine (that type of scrapbooking surely dates me) that said, "I've finally learned to be happy!"  Since that time I have found a lot of OTHER things that also make me happy, but softball was a HUGE part of my life.  I can't even BEGIN to share ALL the lessons learned on the field and on the roadtrips, etc.  I specifically remember being given the sign to bunt, sacrifice bunt.  "What!!!!  I'm the 5th batter - the heavy hitter that always gets on (well, mostly)!!!!"  I looked again and there came the same sign.  I was not very happy.  Did my coach not trust that I could get on and score the girl on 3rd base?  It wasn't that day, I am sure of it, that I realized what it all meant.  Could the Savior have saved us all without having to sacrifice Himself?  Surely He had the power.  But He didn't....and He went through with it all without a negative thought.  I thought about Michelle and all her speed on third base.  I laid down a bunt and she scored before they could even throw me out.  Whether we won or lost that game, I have no earthly idea.  But what I do know is how it defined me, defined part of who I am today.

When I was 19-20 (sadly, I don't remember the year) I injured my knee pretty badly....so much so that the trainers said I would never play again.  THAT wasn't a good thing for me to hear.  I was carried off the field and ended up having surgery the next day to repair a torn medial collateral ligament.  Needless to say, I didn't play the rest of that season.  I did work my way back to playing that next year though and while I was on crutches and in physical therapy I learned more about myself than I thought I could.  I learned that the Savior is my best friend.  I learned that I CAN be grateful for even that hard times in my life.  I learned that I could NEVER sit behind a desk for my job - I had to be OUTSIDE.  I worked with my father as a CPA helper.  I hated sitting behind that desk looking out my window to the clear blue sky.  As soon as my therapist would allow me to ride my bike, I rode it the 10 miles into work.  Of course, I learned a LOT of things that summer - I must have been 20 because it was the year before my mission (or my 21st bday when I COULD go).  I took a Saturday evening drive into town to get gas before Sunday.  While there I met a man, Randy Wright, who would change my life - help to define part of who I am today.

He asked if I needed any help.  Funny, I'm pretty sure I don't look like a person who looks like they need help pumping gas.  But he asked.  I'm sure I was a little too curt in my answer - No!  I went in to pay for my gas (dating me again) and felt pricked in my heart that I needed to apologize.  So I did...thankfully he was still at his car.  Our conversation changed my life forever!  Up to this point I didn't really know if I wanted to serve a mission (although I distinctly remember feeling that Spirit SO strongly in Institute class as a Freshman in college that I would) and was a bit hardened and confused.  That was the summer I spent really soul searching ... after my surgery I had a lot of questions and the church and how I fit into it all was top on my list.  His gentle way of asking questions and speaking to me opened me right up.  He asked how old I was.  Why I didn't feel scared, I don't know.  That's not a typical question from a man to a young adult.  However, I was completely at ease the entire time.  Out of my mouth I heard me answer, "I'm 20, almost 21 when I will go on my mission."  That surprised me....but he took the lead and on he went.  When he asked why I was nervous all I could think was that I just didn't know as much as anyone else did about the church.  How could I possibly teach ANYONE????  I may know more than the primary children, but that was ALL!!!  What if I came to a very well educated person?  I got good grades, but surely didn't count myself educated or wise in any way.  His gentle answer again pricked my heart to the core.  Go home and read D&C 100 was all he said.  I'm pretty sure our conversation touched other areas, but these parts have come to define me and who I continue to be today.  I went right home (no drive around thinking and pondering like I had planned) and read that section.  Some of those verses even today give me strength.

     3 Behold, and lo, I have much people in this place, in the regions round about; and an effectual door shall be opened in the regions round about in this eastern land.

      4 Therefore, I, the Lord, have suffered you to come unto this place; for thus it was expedient in me for the ^asalvation of souls.

      5 Therefore, verily I say unto you, lift up your voices unto this people; ^aspeak the thoughts that I shall put into your hearts, and you shall not be ^bconfounded before men;

      6 For it shall be ^agiven you in the very hour, yea, in the very moment, what ye shall say.

      7 But a commandment I give unto you, that ye shall declare whatsoever thing ye ^adeclare in my name, in solemnity of heart, in the spirit of meekness, in all things.

      8 And I give unto you this promise, that inasmuch as ye do this the ^aHoly Ghost shall be shed forth in bearing record unto all things whatsoever ye shall say.

Verses 5 and 6 specifically touched me, but the entire passage remains one of my favorite!

Defining moments are all around...and as time marches on and on and on I am more grateful for them than ever.  I am who I am because of where I have been, what I have done, and the experiences of my life.

I wonder what defined me as a mother?  I wonder if it was the birth of Jordan?  Or was it a long time before?  I remember just wanting to be a mother....that's all.  So many experiences...not near enough room to write them all.  I hope that I can continue to think about them....continue to think about those moments in my life that define who I am today.....then I hope that I will act accordingly.

The thoughts go on...but this post won't (for your sakes).  And no, I didn't get this out on Sunday.....obviously.  I wanted to search for another picture but now have NO time to do so.

Happy Halloween!  I am at school while my kids are trick or treating at home.  This is the FIRST one I've missed....and I miss them.