An Easter New Beginning

When I was  a little girl...I don't remember HOW little, but very young...I used to run out to our backyard shed right after breakfast to ride my awesome little peddle car.  I'll try to find a pic of it to post.  Well, one day I ran out and it was GONE!  Just like that....it was no more.  I cried, I am sure.  And I'm pretty sure I was also mad...and heartbroken...and very upset.  It was MY car and someone stole it!  I wish I could remember the words my mother used to comfort me because I'm in the same predicament again.

Only this time I'm a whole lot less selfish.  Last night while watching Spencer's indoor soccer tournament someone got into our suburban and stole the jewelry I had just purchased AND my wallet!  I was sick! (to say the least).  I had left it unlocked ... not something I always do but...I won't make excuses.  It was MY fault.  I beat myself up all night about all the things I COULD have and SHOULD have done.  Today is Easter, for heaven's sake....I will hold onto New Beginnings!

When we all got home I made sure we all got the Walmart and Kohl's bags.  Only there WERE no Kohl's bags.  I had put it under the seat at least...and this is when I knew we'd been had!  I called and Kohl's was still open so I went back to get more....I needed the jewelry for my interview tomorrow...plus I just wanted some.  And characteristic of me, I bought more than I needed to try on at home with the appropriate outfits.  *sigh*  It was really gone...ALL GONE!  But the SADDEST part was Kelsey.  The poor girl thought it was HER fault!  I ached for her.  Amidst my own ache for my mistake and losing it all she was also aching inside.  She had bought me a birthday gift and it was the LAST one and she was heartbroken.  I hoped we'd find another when we got there.

Thankfully, we did!  But not the jewelry I had gotten.  Oh well, I got some that will work.  But then at the cash register I realized that I had left my wallet in the suburban too.  I sent Kelsey out to get it and she came in bawling!  It was gone also!  It's an interesting feeling to comfort someone when you are hurting yourself.  But for my children....I would do it over and over again.  I couldn't tell what I was aching for more...the money I had lost AND my wallet with ALL my cards and license and student ID and and and....or for Kelsey who was taking this soooo hard.

"Mom, has this EVER happened to you before?" she asked as we drove.  It has....plenty of times.  And every time I feel violated.  She couldn't understand why someone would STEAL.  I am grateful for her good heart.  Although the world is a very wicked place with people who do bad things, it is also a place of wonderful joy and wonderfully kind and good people.  I tried to help her realize that....that although some people choose wrongly, there are so many many more who choose wisely!

I didn't sleep much last night...but such it is. I got up early and went back to look for my wallet.  Chances are they took the cash and ditched the rest.  It had happened when my house was robbed as a little girl in California.  As I walked I found myself praying for a miracle...not for me, but for Kelsey!  I so want her to know this world is a good place to be.  Regardless of the robberies I have been involved in throughout my life I have remained optimistic (at least I think I have) and I want her to also.  But maybe finding it isn't the answer.  I don't know.

As I walked I also thought about being violated and how my life needs to be locked up tight so I don't let the Adversary in, or anyone else for that matter....to harm me or my family.  I am a pretty open book with a heart that opens freely to all...I hope that Kelsey will not choose to shut herself off because of this.  However, while I AM open and share my heart freely...there ARE some violators that aren't allowed in my heart.  I suppose THIS is what I want Kelsey to learn...when to trust and when to run!  It is such a hard balance to learn.

So on this Easter morning as it is quiet in my house and the day is beautiful outside....I pray for New Beginnings.  I am grateful for my knowledge that Christ lives....and BECAUSE OF HIM I can live again too.  BECAUSE OF HIM I can live now....I can begin anew each day....I can teach my children to trust in HIS love and HIS grace regardless of the wickedness and wrongdoing that often surrounds us.  It is Easter!  I choose to be happy today....to let it go and concentrate on my blessings!  I can close out my cards...money isn't everything...I can get new jewelry...but no one can take my testimony!  It is mine and it is locked safely in my heart....where I can open it to everyone but hold it dear always!  THIS is what I want Easter to be today....a time where I can share what I know and have BECAUSE OF HIM with others and especially my children.