Well, each day I think I will write...and each day passes with me not knowing exactly how to put the last month or so into perspective and write it accordingly. Suffice it to say, I PASSED my Prelims. I'm not really sure how I felt other than excited and relieved...probably more relieved.
It is a big accomplishment and while I realize that, I feel a bit like I don't know where to go from here. I know that I need to begin my dissertation, but somehow this is the step that needed a break after. And I feel like I just can't get back up and going. Sure, I'm still doing laundry (sort of) and teaching classes, etc. But I feel stopped a bit. I don't know how to explain it. I'm just glad it is over.
And now I have started putting my feelers out for real jobs. I think that is also what is stifling me. That is a HUGE step that I don't know if I'm really ready to make. Sure, I will make it and I know it is what is the next step...but I'm scared, I think.
Life is moving on and I like that but still get a bit anxious with the unknown. I'm nervous about what will happen and where we will move and how the kids, Scott, and I will handle it and what the Ward will be like and the job and and and....
So...I suppose I just write to say that I passed my Prelims. Dr Miller even said I did GREAT! I may sound a little melancholy....don't know why, but it is probably why I haven't written also. Take some time, everyone says. But I don't want to wait too long. I have found a few jobs that I really ought to apply for. I can't turn it down until they offer it and getting experience with the interviewing and applying scene just may prove helpful.
But golly....the next step is here....yikes!
2 comments:
Why is this the first time in this process that I realized you would MOVE? I think you need to apply at EIU and move here. Like, next door to me. :)
I feel much better now.
Congratulations!! That is HUGE!! I knew you could do it - you are amazing. Maybe you can teach at University of Penn, Penn State abington, or Temple and live close to me. There is a house for sale across the street from me, and a couple more in my neighborhood.
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