I'm not sure it is fully possible to sum up this year in a nutshell. But then again, there may be a nut big enough that I am just not aware of at this point in my life.
Truthfully, I really can't believe it is Dec 31, 2010! The years seem to go by faster and faster. I knew this would happen. In fact, a LONG time ago I realized that as I age one year is less and less of my entire life....so it made sense then that it would only go by faster and faster like my parents and other OLD people had related to me. Only now I AM the old one and life is really flying by....sometimes TOO quickly. I promised myself those long years ago that I would slow down enough to savor the moments of each day. Boy! I didn't know how HARD that would be!
And so I write today....and probably will come back to it time and time again until I finish.
SOOOOO very much has happened this year...so many thoughts, dreams, realizations, family experiences.
When I asked the family what they remember most about this year they mostly just drew a blank. Maybe I was like that back then too. So I prodded them a bit (surely there is SOMETHING you remember about the past year!!!) Here are the answers:
Jordan: our trip to Mt Rushmore and getting a cell phone (I, on the other hand remember his determination to work as hard as Austin Collie[Indianapolis Colts] and make 1st String on his football team)
Spencer: getting a new counselor (this must have really affected him...and I am glad that he is happy about it)
Kelsey: Mt Rushmore and the gift shop and we got those necklaces! (I loved that part too)
Cody: Mtn Mushmore ...
Scott: South Dakota and the mosquitoes in Minnesota! (I guess the summer vacation wins, hands down)
Denise: I really remember our summer vacation and going back to school (ME going back to school, that is). But really, this entire blog post is about me....and I have a lot to say...to think about, ponder, and such.
As I have browsed the pictures of this year before putting them in the 2010 family pictures archive I can't believe how my kids have grown. I think I can notice Cody the most ... but they all have grown. Jordan is nearly as tall as me. I made it to the end of 2010 without being passed up, but I am sure that in another couple months I will not be able to say the same. Spencer has decided that reading is wonderful and has started reading books like C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia series,Harry Potter, and Leven Thumps. Kelsey just continues to grow up. I was cleaning out some clothes to take to Catholic Charities and was amazed as I watched myself put clothes in there that I remember her JUST wearing....was it really THAT long ago? I tend to do that a lot. As I look at pictures or old clothes they bring LOTS of memories to my mind and it takes me FOREVER to go through things. Maybe that is why I shy away from the job so easily....TIME (the commodity in life I lack the most).
But this post is about memories of the year. And so I head into that world of memories.......
It is funny that as I drive by places I remember people and experiences, when I eat certain foods, or smell certain smells, or whatever. My life revolves around the memories of those I cherish...and sometimes just weird little snippets of times gone by. For instance, when I get in the shower I remember falling when I had torn my ligaments. I drive by a local cafe and remember an afternoon with good friends. All sorts of little things remind me of experiences. And mostly I call people at the time they come jolting into my memory. I think that is best for me...keeps the memories close.
This year was full of memories. While my children remember NOTHING or our summer vacation I seem to have pictures of winter basketball, summer base/softball, fall soccer, band concerts, singing programs, snow days, painting the old storage van (GETTING RID of that van!!!!!), Buffalo Wild Wings with Cody, a missionary running 20 miles on his 20th birthday, a girl's weekend with Kelsey (even though we missed out on Utah with my sisters and mom), the Arch in St Louis and the City Museum with the family, a trip to Seattle to see my cousin off on his mission, a new bathroom, finding four leafed clovers, Spencer's spelling bee, trip to Utah and my precious new little niece, new beds built, Girl's Camp, countless youth activities with the fabulous youth of the Champaign Stake, football (Jordan making 1st string), Garden of the Gods (and lots of friends and fun fun fun!), and Christmas!!!! Dance Dance Revolution.....extravaganza!!!
And what have I accomplished this year? Boy....going back to school was quite an accomplishment for me. I don't think I FULLY accepted all the "experience goes a long way" talks I got. But really....I think it does. I thrive in a learning/educational environment! I love learning...being around it all. The classes weren't easy, but then again....I worked hard! I remember a friend (who has also gone back to school) telling me about how she can FEEL the Lord's help in her schooling. At first it wasn't as apparent as I now KNOW it is. I could FEEL it through and through. The direction I have in my life now has come from Him. EVERYTHING has come from Him. I didn't REALIZE as much as was reminded in such a profound way just how very much my Father in Heaven LOVES me...how much He is involved in the direction (as well as the day to day moments) of my life.
As the children continue to grow I sometimes can feel like Jacob in the Book of Mormon who said that his life passed by as a dream. Sometimes when I am just going through the motions it feels just like a dream. It is at these times that I have to step back and savor the "moments" of life....to re-establish goals and dreams and progression.
And what of 2011?????
So far nothing...the night is young. But aside from the normal "health" related thoughts, I want to find out where this "direction" is leading and how it feels and what it entails. I want to secure a greater foundation and direction for my family. THAT is huge....so....it will be the underlying theme of this year. On a more personal note, our family has adopted a new health goal. It will be fun to go through it TOGETHER.
And PURGE PURGE PURGE! After 10 years in this house it is TIME.....so far the garbage men have picked up huge loads the last few weeks. I think I'll continue the practice for a few more. And I will be tiling the shoe room this coming week. After that wood floors for the kitchen and front room and hall. I don't start teaching until the 11th....and don't go back to school until the 18th...so I have just a tad of time. I'm sure I won't get completely done...but I can start.
After that....I really don't know. I'll just take it as it comes! I know that I will be in better shape next time I write a Dec 31st blog entry....and will be 1 year closer to finishing my PhD! What more can I ask? I'll just be ready for whatever hits me and deal with it as it comes. And of course, I will take the time to savor the moments in life that make life what it is.
And now....this is probably the 5th time I've sat down to write this. Each time I have less and less prepared and less and less time! All in all, 2010 was a great year with plenty of changes and lots of growth all around. Looking forward to the same in 2011!
Can't wait to see what comes my way and how it transpires!
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